Lost loved ones

As my friends and family know, I have been divorced for about 6 years now. This is something I often struggle with. From what I have seen in scripture I feel that I did have biblical grounds for the divorce so that I am comfortable with, though I do often second guess that decision. I struggle with knowing that I am a failure. I was the spiritual leader of my family, I let my family slip away. I feel that if I had loved the Lord as I do now things could have been different. If I had loved Nancy the way that I know I should have, maybe she would not have looked for happiness elsewhere. I pray for Nancy all the time. I pray that she will return to Jesus, that she will see that the world has nothing to offer. I pray that she will see that true happiness is only from the Lord. I know that many of you reading this pray the same for her and I thank you. I sometimes pray that the Lord will bring her back to me so that we could be a family again. That would indeed be a miracle. Our relationship is often stressed and I know that my testimony has been tarnished a number of times because I let my feelings get in the way. I know that God can and does use me in spite of my short comings and I praise Him for that as I am often a bumbling idiot! I pray also that Nancy will someday be able to forgive me for not being the man that she deserved. I praise God that He loves me even though I fail. I know that He is control and I praise Him for that too.