A Better Glimpse

I like doing things with my son Tyler. I will often make it a point to get out of town, get in the woods, go fishing, or just get alone with him. It is during these times that I attempt to pry a little bit into the mind and life of my teen aged wonder. We had one of these times last weekend and it was a good one. We had a very meaningful and painful conversation about memories. I asked Ty what his favorite memories were with me. We talked about times at camp, hunting stories, back packing trips, and fishing. This was fun!

I then asked him if he had any memories of me and his mother together. Silence followed and I had to pry a little. He was little when Nancy left (about 4) so I didn't know if he remembered anything or not. After a bit he said, ''Yes, I have some memories''. I asked what they were. He remembered vividly sitting on one of his riding toys and listening to Nancy and I fight.

This broke my heart. This made me stop and think again about the impact my selfishness had and has on this little boy. We talked for a bit about this memory and I apologized. I said I was sorry for the whole thing. It helped me understand better just how ugly divorce is. It helped me understand just how sinful I am and gave me a better glimpse of how big the gospel is.

I pray for the day we may be reunited again as a family. I pray that God will make me into a man that Nancy would be proud to call her husband (so long as that man is a godly one). I pray for the day that we will be able to make new memories. Happy memories. Godly memories. I rejoice that I serve a sovereign God. It is He that is in control and I trust in Him to do what is best for all of us. Are the above desires best for us? Are they selfish desires? I wrestle with these questions. I don't know the answers. I'm OK with that because I trust Him.

No more Enemy

For a couple of weeks now I have been listening to Stephen Curtis Chapman's new album ''Beauty Will Rise''. If you are not familiar with this album, it is his first album after the death of his daughter Maria. It is a heart wrenching, thought provoking, album that brings to the surface what many feel as they struggle with the death of a loved one.

I would like to share with you a small part of one of his opening songs called ''Heaven in the Face''.

But in my mind’s eye I can see a place Where Your glory fills every empty space. All the cancer is gone, Every mouth is fed, And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed. Every lonely heart finds their one true love, And there’s no more goodbye, And no more not enough, And there’s no more enemy.

Every time I hear Chapman sing those words I can't help but praise. ''And there's no more enemy''. I tear up with those words! I long for that day when Satan and sin WILL be defeated forever.

Been there, Done That

I often get annoyed with myself because I sometimes have such a relaxed view of scripture. I get the old ''been there done that'' attitude. This morning, for example, I was reading about Christ feeding 5000 people, then walking on water, then healing lots of people, and then feeding 4000 more people. Yup, ''been there done that!'' I breezed through these verses very quickly because they are very familiar to me, as if I could learn nothing new from them. As a matter of fact the above is about all I would have gotten out of this section of scripture had it not been for the desire God has put in my heart to know his word. I praise Him for that desire! Had Christ performed any one of these miracles today could you just imagine the buzz? People all over would be tweeting, blogging, changing statuses and youtubeing (I'm sure that is not a word, but you get my point). There would be pictures and video streaming across the Internet. The world would know almost instantly.

Even if these things were to happen today Christ would have gotten the same reaction. We still would have accused him of blasphemy, or said that it was by the power of Satan that he was able to do the things he did. We still would have plotted and lied and eventually, we would have killed him.

Because these things happened to long ago it is difficult for me to imagine them really happening, but they did. These wonderful things that Christ did to authenticate his ministry were nothing compared to what he did for me on the cross. He died so that I may live. He suffered so that I do not have too. He took my sin upon himself, took the punishment on himself so that when God looks upon me He sees his son and not my filth.

We have been given a great gift that is the Word of God! Read it and study it carefully! Let us not just breeze through a section of scripture. Let us see what God has for us today everyday!

Why blog? Why Tweet?

I asked myself a couple of questions recently.
#1. Why do I enjoy reading blogs so much?
#2. Why is Twitter so fascinating?
#3. Why do I blog and why do I Tweet?

Most of the blogs I follow are Christian men that I have learned to respect because they point me to the cross, the same can be said for the folks I follow on Twitter. The answer therefore to questions 1 & 2 is that through these blogs and tweets I am forced to think about and dwell on topics and doctrines that make me grow and give me a desire to draw closer to my King through the study of his word.

My third question is a little more complicated because it tends to get all wrapped up in the fact that I have a sin nature. Why do I blog? Why do I tweet? Well, I guess that I want to share some of what my God has done and is doing for me and hopefully encourage those who read my blog (and tweets) to think about and dwell on topics and doctrines that will help them grow and have a desire to closer to their King through the study of his word. My spirit wants that. My flesh however tends to desire the praise of man.

I was reading in Matthew the other day the Sermon on the Mount. 6:1 says, ''Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.''

If written with the wrong motives I know that the praise of man is the only reward that I will receive. I want more then that! I want to honor my God and give Him the glory for the work he has done. I know that I need to be careful to write with the correct motives. I need to practice righteousness to and for my King, not for you, and not for me.

Love

My son and I used to have this ongoing battle. I would tell him that I love him and he would immediately blurt out, ''I love you more!'' I started telling him that until he could define what love is he can never prove to me that he loves me more (not that he ever could ;). Over the years this has turned into many great teachable moments. Often we turn to 1 Cor. 13 and read it together, or we talk about the gospel or any other scripture that may be relevant at the time. Now when I ask Ty to define what love is he says, ''I want what is best for you''. While that is probably an over-simplification, I believe he is beginning to grasp what love is.

While it is often much easier for me to see the shortcomings of others in this area of love I have to force myself to look in the mirror and I often have difficulty seeing my own face because of the tree I have sticking out of my own eye. Like all of you I have difficult people in my life. Do I picture them dying and agonizing death at my own hands or do I really want what is best for them? Do I brush them off because I ''don't have the time'' or do I want what is best for them? Am I to selfish to share with them the Gospel or evangelize them or do I turn and go my merry way.

If asked, I am sure that I would be able to explain to you what love is or at least what my understanding of what love is. If watched, I pray that I will also be able to show you through my actions what love is. I am continually aware of the two 13 year old eyes that are watching me constantly. As Paul told Timothy to watch his life and doctrine carefully, I need to do the same. We need to do the same. The world is watching. Will they be able to see in our lives that we love, or will they see instead that we just don't have the time.